Tuesday, 10 May 2016 14:36

My ego made me do it!

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Have you ever screwed up a situation because you were too big for your britches? We've all made mistakes, embarrassed ourselves, and said things that we are not proud of.

When we don't understand or accept our ego, it can quickly spin you into a spell of disconnect.

Don't get me wrong. Your ego will help you create amazing things for yourself and others.  The ego is human nature.

But you know as well as I do the path to being your best self can be a turbulent process.  There are many times that we are not functioning at our best, learned our life lessons the hard way and come to a reality that necessitate us to change a behaviour.

Life is a school of experiences and even though mistakes are not fun, we need to uncover its lessons and not spend too much time feeling guilty or bad about them. You might get flustered, discouraged, exasperated; you may have to swallow your pride to make some apologies, a few tweaks here and there, but then, with your courage you move on to the next lesson - to your next adventure. Many of us will cling to a deep, entrenched concept that we cannot change, that we are too stubborn, which inadvertently give us permission to continue our self-sabotaging behaviours and our self-destructive habits.  We cling to our ego and wear it like a badge of honour.  Our ego is a mastermind at "deflecting" the real issues.  The state of "self-awareness" does not require total rejection of our ego. We need a bit of it in order to operate in this “reality” we call life.

The ego is essentially an intricate mess of past emotional attachments. If we think critically about it, we would have to assume that all suffering or sense of loss, our deep rooted fears are derived from some form of a blockage, of emotional attachment to, or investment in, such things as, for example, relationships, careers, values, other people's opinions, our need for approval, and objects, to name but a few.

When these attachments are threatened, or need to be changed, the outcome is always some form of emotional pain, a bumpy ride stretching all the way from a little disappointment to full-blown devastation. Our desires, too, are born from this concept.  Let us for a moment ask ourselves what or who we would be if we were to give up all our emotional attachments. What if we were to willingly give up all our beliefs and jump into a free-fall of trust?

The ego does what it does best: zealously protect its status at any cost, even if that means self-destruction.

Despite its obvious need for love and acceptance, the ego is kept alive by one fundamental secret seed: fear. Once we start cleaning house and getting rid of the junk in our head, we come to recognize a huge unease.  The ego is a bunch of squirming, emotional attachments of thoughts, beliefs, fears, worries, jealousy, anger, resentment, habits and cultural brainwashing. We spend most of our lives struggling for security and control, seeking happiness while trying to avoid pain and find our purpose, but often we are unwilling to "go there" - to look at our "second half", to expose our vulnerable self and our limiting beliefs.

If we remain under the spell of our unexplored ego, and continue to cling to unquestioned rituals and thinking and fixations, we will continue to linger in a source of disharmony.

Being an ego with a clump of uninvestigated fears and attachments; we are all too busy juggling our daily control issues to question the plan of our happiness, let alone to question our very identity and purpose.

The choice we made for living in "detachment" results in a state in which we see a world of opposites: good versus bad and we perceive our past experiences, not as gifts or lessons but as unforgiving suffering and limitations.

Until we are prepared to take the journey into undoing the ego’s perception, and get out of our own way, we will never know who we really are, find true love; unearth our happiness, unravel our true purpose, find confidence in our own voice, and create a strong foundation of inner peace.

After you read this, here is another post you might find useful: Never Good Enough and  The First Step to Life Balance: Tame your Ego.

 

Last modified on Tuesday, 10 May 2016 14:49
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