Tuesday, 05 March 2019 04:37


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Do you and your partner have the same old fight? Is it followed by days of banging doors, sleepless nights on the couch, or resentful silence?

Does the idea of communicating with your loved one involve idle chit chat while gazing at the T.V. or glossing over your cell phone? Are you struggling with conflict and disagreements that show up as passive-aggressive behaviors in yourself or others? What about with colleagues at work or even with whom you interact with on social media?

Good communication is essential to having a loving, harmonious relationship. But, most of us were never really taught the art of relationship dialogue. Sure, we read magazine articles about finding the right moment to express our needs and how we need to learn how to compromise, etc. We try to get them to hear our point of view and then get frustrated when our partner, colleague or friend doesn’t seem interested.


Or… there’s another argument with raised voices and slammed doors. Then we wonder why our relationships aren’t perfect like they are in the movies.  Hollywood films are perfect example of instilling a warped sense of the "perfect" relationship and providing unrealistic expectations about romance. They oversimplify the process of falling in love and wrongly give the impression that a good relationship should be achieved without any effort.

Also, popular media perpetuate ideas that if someone is meant to be with you, then they should know what you want without you needing to tell them.

Many couples also develop ingrained beliefs and common unrealistic themes.

They include the idea of "the one" soul mate who we were all pre-destined to meet and that they should know us instinctively so well they can "almost read out minds".

We all want to be successful in our relationships. We want to be the special one and meet the special one.

Many years ago, I discovered effective relationship communication strategies that work.   Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of "Getting the Love You Want and Keeping the Love You Find”, has truly had a dramatic impact on my own relationship.

Dialog is the primary means of relating. You never really understand someone else’s internal reality until they tell you, just as they don’t really know your reality until you share it with them. Without good dialogue, you’re essentially relating to your version of their reality and thus yourself—not them. When you’re relating to yourself, you’re bringing all that extra “stuff” to the table—preconceived notions, beliefs, old wounds, regrets, and so on. Good dialogue requires that you step back from yourself and really hear the other person. You must seek to understand, not react. Yes, it's difficult with some people and exhausting but it’s worth it to learn this regardless.

So, take a deep breath and have hope. I invite you to reinvent your communication style and dramatically improve your relationships by taking my full day workshop - Relationship Bootcamp, March 23, 2019 from 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. I'll teach you my favorite communication tactics for building a passionate partnership, resolving conflict in your relationship and becoming the most connected couple you know.

Last modified on Tuesday, 05 March 2019 04:37
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